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  Without answering, Lauren dumped her purse out again.

  He bit the side of his mouth. Maybe they were a bit too overzealous for her. This could be her way of telling them they needed to breathe, and she was right. They had things to discuss. The party was coming up. They hadn't even addressed that yet. Jason called him on it, and now was time to face it. "Are you tired?"

  "Do you have your period?" Jason put his hand on her arm.

  Lauren looked up, her mouth open and cheeks red.

  Russell would have stopped him, but he wanted to know the answer.

  "It's no big deal, we can put down our one towel." Jason elbowed him. "You're cool with it, right?"

  He matched Lauren's open mouth. There was no good response to that question. In the last few days he had to become cool with a lot of things. Every day he was pushed a bit more. They all were. Eventually they would go over the edge.

  Lauren took a breath. "I don't have my period."

  Jason gave her a thumb up.

  "I can't find my pills." She stared at Jason.

  "Do you have a headache?" Jason leaned over and put his hand on her cheek. "I have a sure fire cure." He chuckled.

  She shifted her focus. "Russell, I can't find my pills."

  Russell pursed his lips absorbing what she said. Since they had three medicine cabinets full of pills, he assumed this was something unique to her, to females, for female things. "How long has this been going on?" He cleared his throat. Talk about being pushed. This was no time to panic. They used condoms.

  "You're not taking your pills!" Jason lunged forward and took her by the shoulders.

  "Jason!" She pushed on his chest.

  "It's okay." He nodded. "It's okay. There's three of us, we'll make it work." He hung his head down.

  It was a moot point to tell Jason they used condoms. At least the man was going to take responsibility.

  His stomach spiraled, making him more nauseated than the image of moldy damp towels on the carpet. How would they explain that pregnancy to their friends and family? He took a breath wishing he had Jason's attitude, but wondering how they would determine who was the father and who was the special uncle? Suddenly it was too warm in there, and he took his time exhaling. They used condoms.

  She thrust Jason away from her and got up. "We use condoms!"

  Jason blinked, wrinkled his nose and frowned. "Then why are you taking a pill?"

  "Back up." She tapped her foot. "Double protection."

  The chaos had to be getting to all of them. Russell tilted his neck from side to side. They weren't having babies they were only having a set back. But wait, what were they having a set back from? He couldn’t define what they were. No one could, and there had to be a reason.

  Consequences, repercussions and outcomes of their actions hit him head on, or more like slapped him across the face. With the need to act taking over him, he jumped up and wiped his forehead. Somehow, for the first time in his life, he didn't think about the final product of his actions, he kept pushing them into corners like the clothes and the towels, and now they seemed to bowl over him at once.

  "Russell?" Lauren went to him.

  "We need to find your pills. How long has it been?" He had to get some order around him.

  "Since yesterday, I just don't want to be off schedule. Everything feels all over the place."

  "Yeah." Without even thinking he held his arms out. She gave him a hug and put her head in his chest.

  He rested his chin on the top of her head and held her tighter. For years he waited for what he had now. Though he never pictured Jason as part of the deal, now he couldn't imagine them without him. He glanced over at his best friend, not sure if he liked the way he wanted Jason to join them.

  As if acting on some unknown force between them, Jason pushed himself up and hugged Lauren from behind.

  "Russell?" Lauren's voice vibrated through him.

  "Yes." He ran his fingers through her hair.

  "I am a mess and the house is a mess and I think the laundry guy stole our clothes." She tilted her face up to him.

  "I don't think the laundry guy stole our clothes, I don't think we gave him any." He needed to let the laundry guy off the hook. The three of them made the mess. He made the mess by allowing this. They looked to him for guidance and he failed.

  "When I get home I just want to…" She cut herself off by putting her face back in his shirt, well actually Jason's shirt, but it was on him.

  He wondered if her end of the sentence was the same as his. When he got home he just wanted to be with her…with them. "What do you want?"

  She shrugged her shoulders. "I think I've been a little distracted with all that's happened."

  "I'm distracted all day, all I do is wait for the two of you to get home." Jason shook his head.

  "Aww." She pulled Jason over and the three of them stood in a small circle. "What do you want?"

  Now was his chance. He could point out the error in their programming. Ask them the tough questions. Demand to know what they would do out in public.

  "What do you want?" Lauren touched his lips. "Except your clothes?"

  He studied her face, Jason thought she looked like a classical painting, but he didn't have those words to describe her. She was beautiful. Anything anyone could want, and they both wanted her. They both wanted her and they were best friends. Here, in their home, this was how it needed to be. Once again he had to brush aside what was bound to happen. Ignore the moldy towels. "I want us to figure out what bedroom we're going to be in so we can get some order in the house."

  "Let's pick Laurie's room, she has a four poster bed. All the better to tie ties with." Jason slung his arms around the two of them.

  "My room is a shambles." She pursed out her lower lip. "I sort of spread my stuff all over. Well, actually into Russell's room."

  "That's where I've been putting my stuff as well, it was easier." Jason grinned.

  "Well that would explain why I'm wearing mostly your clothes." Russell noticed his room had become a prime accumulation spot. At night after everyone was asleep it was awesome to have everyone there. All three of them. What on Earth were they doing?

  "He has a better closet." Lauren leaned into him.

  "I think we've been so busy doing other things that we sort of forgot we need clean clothes…" Jason glanced behind him toward the kitchen. "…and clean dishes."

  "And a computer that works." Lauren gave him a toothy smile. "When we weren't dating we were much neater and got a lot more work done."

  Well, he got his answer, at least in Lauren land. They were dating. In Lauren land that meant being together, going out. It was one exit short of a commitment. How would they ever accomplish that? "Let's get organized."

  Chapter Fourteen

  Back in college there were two types of parties. The party to get a man and the party with your man. Anything else, themes, holidays or other events were only window dressing on those two distinctive parties.

  Each party had its own strategy. At the party to get a man, you showed yourself off. At the party with your man, you showed him off.

  Outside the hotel ballroom that hosted the charity pre-holiday bash, Lauren was flanked by not one, but two, men. She should be marching in with one on each side and gloating, more proud than if she owned multiple Valerie bags. Instead, her face heated and she trembled.

  Once Jason announced they would make their debut here, she envisioned this moment more times than she cared to admit. She wanted to watch the women drop their mouths as she held on to both of them, and she wanted the men to admire her for being able to satisfy two of their kind. She even wanted to make Anne jealous for snaring her beloved Russell. Yes, catty, but true.

  However, as they walked in, her heart pounded a warning, and her stomach weighed her down even though they hadn't eaten yet. Something was wrong, she couldn't tell exactly what, but something. The sensation was the same one as when she walked into a client site and knew they dropped her prod
uct, the same one when she entered a room and everyone knew a secret she didn't, the same one when something was wrong with your man.

  Come to think of it, there were three parties. The man getting party, the man showing off party, and the worst one of them all, the man losing party.

  Yes, she pictured the three of them walking in hand in hand and strutting her stuff. She never pictured Jason guiding her by her shoulders as if he were steering a car and Russell lagging four paces behind them while he did a variety of things, check his phone, fiddle with the button on his sleeve, tie his shoe.

  "I'll be the designated driver tonight." Jason gave her shoulders a squeeze. "Feel free to allow me to pour the two of you home."

  She turned and tried to smile. In her vision of showing Jason off he looked exactly as he did now. Today he dressed as an alternative rock star in flitted dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt covered by a grey blazer, and that chain thing that hooked from one of his belt loops to his back pocket. Only certain men could pull off his ensemble and not appear as if they were trying too hard. Jason was one of those men.

  "I was going to offer." Russell uttered his first words since they left the house.

  She bit the inside of her mouth. They both offered, apparently they both felt she needed to drink, and that indefinable voice in the back of her head agreed with them. Before they entered, she needed to check something. Maybe it had been so long since she went to a party with a man, or men, that she forgot. "Fine, then I'll get stinking drunk and then the two of you can take advantage of me."

  "Vodka tonic?" Jason raised his eyebrows and put his hand on her hip. "Two of them?"

  Okay the problem wasn't Jason, but deep down in the same place where the sick feeling lived, she already knew. In fact, she already knew who caused the sensation, only she didn't want to admit defeat. She set her jaw and waited for Russell to respond.

  "Let me get in line for the bar." With a spackled smile across his face, Russell dashed into the ballroom.

  She forced her feet to stay put, refusing to be the girl who either chased him and put him on the spot to do one of two things, lie to her, or break up with her. Not that it mattered, he couldn't break up with her, they were only dating nothing more, a title she bestowed on them.

  Before she succumbed to being a female, she willed the lump in her throat away and remembered this was Russell. Russell her best friend, who idled at quiet and loathed parties and crowds of people.

  She searched the inside of the ballroom until she found him in line at the bar. He was bending over and checking the cuff of his pants. She sighed. He hated parties, right? Maybe something went on at work. Normally, it would take a drink and at least a half hour of television to get him to fess up as to what upset him. Instead, she dragged him here expecting this grand romantic gesture.

  She should be the one getting the drinks, let him relax, and open up his own way. This was the first time they all went out together.

  "Shall we?" Jason bowed to her.

  "Yes." She tried for a true smile, and once more looked for Russell.

  Anne and Russell.

  Her forced smile diluted worse than cheap alcohol in a pool of melting ice.

  Anne staked her claim, and rather than Russell shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and searching for her out to save him, he laughed and hugged her.

  Though she told herself Russell was simply being polite, her own heartbeats drowned out her inner logical voice as she walked forward.

  Before she caught up with them to save her best friend, the man she slept with every night, Russell bent down to Anne's leg.

  Anne flipped her hair and lifted her already short skirt as Russell took her shoe off.

  The lump in Lauren's throat doubled in size, and she stopped to watch them leave with Russell offering her his arm.

  "I want my drink." She wanted about five.

  "Consider me at your service." Jason grabbed her hand.

  She let him lead her away and stared at nothing. "Bourbon, neat."

  ***

  "How kind of you to come to a lady in need." Anne sat down in one of the chairs at the edge of the ballroom and smiled up at him.

  Russell glanced around the ballroom, expecting it to turn into a black vortex that would take him straight to Hell. At least then he would have a destination. Tonight all he had done was wander aimlessly. Every step took him further from his goal, if he knew what he wanted.

  "What's up, Anne?" At least Lauren couldn't accuse him of not being nice to her. He allowed her to hug him and drag him away to fix her shoe. Anne fit every vision he had of a sales rep, though he wasn't sure if she should be selling drugs or used cars.

  "Nothing until you got here." She tilted her head. "It's about time you flew solo."

  He narrowed his eyes. Anne and Lauren were a strange pairing. They almost weren't friends, and he wondered if it was one of those girl things he would never understand. Anne wasn't ugly, but she wasn't pretty either. If he were set up on a date with her, he would have given it a try, but the minute she opened her mouth it would have been over. Everything she said seemed to have a hidden meaning.

  "Who said I'm alone?" He reached into his pocket and took out his Swiss Army Knife. Too bad he didn't have a tool to fix this night.

  "You're not, you're with me." Anne wiggled her foot in front of him. "Can you fix it?"

  He chose a screwdriver and dug in. Shoes he could fix, he wasn't sure about anything else.

  What did Lauren and Jason want him to do? March into this party, bend her back and give her a kiss and then smile and point while Jason did the same? He wiped his forehead and continued.

  The night of the art gallery was safe. They were only setting the stage, nothing happened. Years of wanting Lauren took a toll on their friendship leaving one solution. But…

  He held the shoe up and fit the heel back into the sole.

  But they were here with professional people. But, it was his responsibility to protect them from themselves. But it wasn't supposed to be this good.

  He slammed the shoe into the floor.

  But, it wasn't supposed to be this good. The three of them together was the best was amazing, and yet it was off kilter, wrong. Wrong not in the way that he brought a girl home from the other side of tracks, but wrong as in no one would ever understand. They would be freaks.

  Jason didn't care. He lived in a land all his own with nothing to lose. Lauren was too starry eyed to realize what the three of them could do to her career. He needed to be the voice of reason.

  He lifted the shoe and tried moving the heel. It held steady, exactly like he had to. "Here you go."

  "You're my hero!" Anne slipped the shoe on, shot up and flung her arms around him, weighing him down.

  Lauren and Jason caught up with them and he tried to unravel himself from Anne.

  "What happened to the drinks?" Jason elbowed him.

  "We got side tracked." Anne kept hold of his arm and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "How are you, girlfriend?" She tilted her head toward Lauren.

  He stiffened not only at the kiss but at the sight of who he really wanted kissing him. Lauren was gorgeous in her emerald green dress high heels, hair swept off to one side. Yes, gorgeous, elegant, that was his Lauren. The one who could calculate the percentage of anything in her head, make dinner in her business suit, cry during a sitcom and then put some lingerie with no panties and satisfy not one, but two men.

  "Strange day." Lauren downed the rest of her drink.

  She may as well have slapped him. Her words stung the same. Didn't she understand he was doing this for her? "Let me return to my duties and get some refills." He gently pushed Anne back wanting to push his duties back as well, wanting to let it go like Jason, or live the fantasy like Lauren. Now she wouldn't glance in his direction.

  "We'll go get the drinks." Once more Anne laced her arm in his.

  "We'll all go." Jason put his arm around Lauren, stared straight at him and raised his eyebrows. />
  Yes, he felt Jason's warning, but later, much later, Lauren would thank him for not turning the three of them into the gossip of the hour.

  "I need to take care of something." Lauren spun toward Jason. "Where's the bathroom?"

  Russell opened his mouth. On their way in, he already scoped out all the bathrooms knowing Lauren and Jason both would need them.

  Jason held up a finger and turned left and right.

  "It’s out the front of the ballroom and down the corridor past the potted palm." Russell exhaled and got his arm back from Anne.

  Lauren didn't acknowledge him.

  He gritted his teeth together causing that horrible scratch inside his skull. They needed to talk. Lauren would understand.

  Jason grinned. "It's out the front of the ballroom and down the corridor past the potted palm."

  "I'll be back." She planted a smile on her face. "Let's catch up in a bit." She nodded at Anne and left.

  "You got it. So much to tell you!" Anne waved after her.

  Both of them watched Lauren stop at the bar grab two shots and head out.

  "I'm going to go check things out." Jason paused, giving him the code to follow.

  No, he wouldn't allow Jason to berate him for doing the right thing. They would have plenty of time when they got home. All day he struggled and the moment he stepped into this hotel he had his answer to his dilemma on what to do with the situation. The night this started it all made sense, and while amazing, incredible even, the fact was they couldn't be in public together and therefore they couldn't be together. Not like how Lauren wanted and deserved.

  He swallowed down the sting in the back of his throat. "I'll catch you in a bit."

  "Okay then." Jason clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth and backed away.

  "Shall we?" Anne leaned into him.

  He forgot she was there until she spoke. "Shall we what?"

  "Go get that drink?"

  "Whatever." He motioned forward.

  He followed Anne back to the bar.

  It was always him. Always.

  ***