Facade Read online

  “How are her lessons coming along?” Nash helped himself to some alcohol.

  “She truly is extraordinary. The other night we sang together.” He didn’t look directly at Nash.

  Before Nash even took a sip, he put the glass down and stared at him. “What, pray tell, did you sing?”

  “A song.” Once more, he focused on the document.

  “That would be the usual choice.” Nash leaned over the desk and put his hand on top of the papers. “What song?”

  Damn it, he couldn’t lie to his only friend, the only person who had been there since the beginning, the only other person who truly understood what happened because he was there. “Where It Is.”

  “The first single for the never recorded third album for Spectre.” At the mention of their former band, Nash lifted the glass.

  “For the first time, I sang that song and didn’t feel like something was missing.” He gave in, grabbed the whiskey bottle and poured himself a drink.

  “Interesting since I wasn’t there, and Upton wasn’t there and—” Nash cut himself off.

  “And Phil wasn’t there.” There, Erik said the unspeakable name. The name of their bassist, the one who didn’t live through the accident. Nash, their lead guitar, ended up with a permanent limp as well as other issues, Upton, their drummer, never spoke to them or anyone again, and Erik. He sighed and tried not to think of his mask, though it was always there.

  They both lifted their glasses and took a drink.

  “Maybe you need to warn her about what kind of life she wants.” Nash shook his head.

  “No, she deserves her dream. She’s had a hard time.” Before he took her under his wing, he did his own little background check. Her parents struggled, first her mother died, then her father, leaving her with nothing. She ended up flitting around between relatives until she graduated high school and then just went out on her own. What he admired most was she never took a handout. In her own way, she made her way. “Everyone has to live their dream.”

  “What’s your dream?” Nash took his set of papers again.

  Erik turned away. “We did the dream.”

  “That was then. What’s your dream now?”

  He closed his eyes and all he saw was Christine, the way she looked at him with trust and hope, the way she cried at their song, how she stayed and, unless he totally forgot what it was like to be a human being, how she wanted him. For the second time in his life, he had his dream. The first ended with him losing his face, what would he lose if he tried to live the second one?

  “What’s your dream?” He shot the question right back to his friend.

  “I think I’m dreaming that one day I’ll move on.” Nash wiped his brow.

  They both sat silent, but speaking the secret language they only understood. Their group had it all, every one of the trappings of life in a top rock band and it was taken away in a literal flash, a stupid stunt he insisted on having for drama. In less than a second he was in an ER, his band and his face torn apart, one of his best friends gone forever. Everything vanished.

  The only luck he possessed was that it happened before the days of instant media. Most of the world thought him dead or gone, or in another country or he simply disappeared. Every once in a while, little stories popped up here and there, but they quickly bubbled back down to the mire where they belonged.

  “I can’t take her dream away for my dream.” Erik voiced his words almost before he realized he said them. “Not that it matters. We’re not together that way.” He couldn’t be with anyone.

  “From what you’ve told me that’s your choice.” Nash pointed up to the monitor.

  Erik diverted his attention to the screen and at the sight of Christine stood. “It’s not a choice.”

  “Everything is a choice.” Nash pushed himself up and tossed the papers on the desk. “It’s a standard contract, just double check she doesn’t sign her life away if she wins.”

  “That will be her life then.” Erik balled his hand in a fist.

  “Maybe you could have a life, so watch the contract.” On the way out, Nash patted his back.

  Erik smoothed his hair back, took a breath and left the office. Since the day they sang, he didn’t really know what to do with her. No, that was untrue, he knew what to do with her, knew what he wanted to do with her, but didn’t know if he could condemn her to a life with him and once he had her, he didn’t know if he could be without her.

  He walked through the theatre and joined her on stage. “Good morning.” He noticed she’d taken to wearing a few pieces of the costumes along with her normal attire, and he liked her eclectic style.

  “Good morning.” She hoisted her bag on her shoulder, but barely glanced in his direction.

  “I’m going to give the contract one more read through, and then it will be ready to go. I just want to make sure you’re not giving your dream away.” When he stepped closer, the scent of the lavender soap he gave her wafted around him.

  “How could auditioning for the show be giving my dream away?” She bent down and adjusted her shoe even though there were no laces.

  Clearly she was agitated. “Do you dream of anything else?” He leaned back on his heels. If she said the right words now, he would take her in his arms and kiss her.

  At last, she looked up at him. “What do you dream of?”

  Rather than answer, he crossed his arms.

  She huffed. “I’ll be back. I have some errands to run.” With one last glance at him, she charged toward the exit.

  Wait, she was leaving? He followed. “Don’t you want to practice?”

  “I have a few things I need to take care of.” She stopped, but didn’t face him.

  “I’ll take care of it.” He longed to reach out and touch her, but restrained himself.

  Shaking her head, she pressed her hand to the wall. “I just need to get my mail, and I thought maybe I would pick us up a few things at the farmer’s market.” She turned to him. “Do you want to come with me?”

  If it were anyone else asking that question, he would have snapped and subsequently pushed that person out of his theatre in his life, but with her, the question was genuine. Did she not see him? “I can’t.”

  “Can we practice later?” She stared into his eyes.

  “I’ll be here.” Where else would he be? His haven was also his prison.

  After another long look, she left through the back door.

  He stood there for several moments. This would be the exact position he would be left standing in when she made her dream come true and left for good and he couldn’t go with her.

  Chapter Eight

  Christine stepped out onto the street and looked up into the sun shining between the trees. She hadn’t really left the theatre since she agreed to let Erik help her get on the Stage of Stars.

  In Erik’s world, things happened by magic, or at least that’s how it seemed. Presents appeared on pillows, meals seemed to be conjured by some unknown force and hell, even money appeared in her usually empty wallet.

  She breathed in the fresh air and tried to pretend she didn’t wish for that certain special scent of leather, velvet and sparkle that seemed to hover in the theatre. Though she didn’t want to leave, she had to take a break away from those golden eyes that took her all in, but denied her what she wanted most. Namely, him.

  In truth, with her lifestyle, she didn’t usually have time to think about anything but getting through the day. Romance was definitely a secondary need.

  Maybe romance just wasn’t important until Erik.

  Deep in her heart, she thought he wanted her. The way he stared at her, took care of her, seemed to shake if on the off chance he touched her, and spoke of what she wanted to be the truth. Still, she couldn’t help thinking maybe she was reading it all wrong. Maybe he only needed her to break through his lonely existence and nothing more, or maybe she was just a project to him and she read some underlying attraction into his actions.

  Head hung d
own, she rounded the corner to her postal place. Before entering, she looked up at the sign. For the last couple of years this was the closest place she had to a home. Now everything was different. She had a home, so to speak, but she wanted to make a home as well.

  At last, she went inside.

  “Christine!” Helen clapped her hands, went running to her and dragged her back behind the counter. “I was getting worried, you had so many messages, and I didn’t even know where to start looking for you.” The woman took Christine into her arms.

  “I’m fine.” Christine hugged her back and shook her head. Strange how benign a hug seemed to be, but she still couldn’t get one from Erik. If anyone needed human touch, it was the two of them. In a strange way they just fit. Was she seeing this all wrong? “You said I had some messages?”

  “Yes, yes.” Helen scurried over to a drawer and handed her some mail and a piece of paper. She tapped the page. “This one won’t stop calling.”

  Christine read the paper. Ramon had called every day, sometimes multiple times. As the days passed, she watched the progression of his messages, first concern over her not showing up for rehearsal, then reminding her of the next rehearsal, then the messages got a little more desperate.

  Please contact me and let me know you’re all right. Ramon.

  His notes then took on an angry tone.

  I suppose you quit and didn’t tell anyone. You could have at least told me.

  Lastly, there was an envelope with her name scrawled on it.

  “He came by,” Helen whispered.

  Her muscles tensing, she tore the envelope open and pulled out a piece of white paper.

  Christine, I have tried multiple times to get in touch with you. My gut tells me you’re fine and just avoiding me. I won’t bother you again. Ramon.

  She pressed her lips together. Yes, she could have contacted them, even left a note with Helen. That’s what Erik wanted her to do, assumed she had done. Now, after the days and the notes passing, how could she tell him she quit? He already knew. At this point, it was just easier to avoid them. The Stage of Stars was huge and the chances of them both making it on the show was miniscule. Yes, she knew she might not make it either, but with Erik she knew she had a better chance.

  However, her stomach still twisted. She should have done the right thing, but it was too late now. Hopefully he would stay true to his word and not bother her again. There was nothing she could do except ride it out.

  Her whole life had been about riding it out and, for a moment, she put her hand over her eyes and tried to think.

  When her father died, she thought she would ride out the time until she was eighteen and then she could make a name for herself. Her aunt seemed more than thrilled to let her walk out the door, and she started out renting a room, intending to ride it out until she could get an apartment on her own. Time went on, her aunt and any other tie to her bloodline died off, and she had no job. Suddenly, she found herself without even a room and was going to ride it out until she got on her feet.

  What the hell? That had been six years ago, and she was out of time to wait for the next ride. She needed to take control of her life, not wait for it to happen to her from the Stage of Stars to Ramon or especially Erik. If she spent as much time making things happen rather than riding it out and praying for it to get better, she would have a life now. Maybe she would have had a home, a relationship, a real job, something to show for spending nearly two and a half decades on a the planet.

  Then again, she might never have met Erik. Was it possible everything else was simply a placeholder until she stumbled into his theatre? How else would she have met him if it wasn’t for everything else that happened to her? It had to be the final stop.

  She crumpled up all the papers, quickly scanned her junk mail and tossed the whole lot in the trash.

  “Did you want to do some work today?” Helen patted her shoulder.

  Rather than ride this out, she could start this minute. “I have to get back…home.” She smiled at the word. “I found someone.”

  A huge smile graced Helen’s face. “I had a feeling. The blush on your cheeks says everything.”

  “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve always done for me.” She leaned in and hugged the woman again.

  “You make sure you visit.” Helen gave her a kiss on each cheek.

  “I will.” Before leaving, she grabbed a change of address card, gave Helen a kiss, and dashed out.

  Goal number one, she needed to talk to Erik. Goal number two, she needed to practice for the upcoming auditions. With her plan in place, she rushed over to a local farmer’s market. For the first time in forever, she walked through the stands with the potential to actually buy something more than an apple, and she picked up some fresh eggplant and tomatoes hoping to make some eggplant parmesan for her and Erik later.

  By the time she made it back to the theatre, the sun had set, leaving just an orange glow in the sky, and she smoothed down her hair before entering.

  The theatre was quiet, dim. She put her vegetables down and tiptoed onto the stage. “Erik?”

  Nothing.

  “Erik?” She tried again, even looked up to the flies where he seemed to like to perch.

  Still nothing.

  The lack of anything, any sound, any movement made her shudder. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and rushed downstairs. She stopped at her room, breathing in a sick sigh of relief that everything was still there. However, there was still no sign of Erik. Finally, she delved into the depths of the theatre and went to Erik’s quarters, a place she’d never been before. The carved wood door was shut tight, but in keeping with the theme that she would go after what she wanted, she knocked, causing the door to open slightly. “Erik?”

  When no one answered, she pushed the door open a little wider and peeked inside the space she never had seen before.

  Dark, ornate gothic furnishings decorated the room. A four-poster bed with blood-red velvet covers took over the center of the room. There were no mirrors of any kind, and everything was exceptionally neat. “Erik?” She tried one more time and with nothing, no sound at all, backed away.

  Once more, she made her way back up to the stage, then she searched for him in the front lobby and business offices. Nothing.

  At last, she made her way into the auditorium. She was alone in her own home. Had he left her or was he sending her a message?

  She supposed she had to ride it out.

  Chapter Nine

  Part of Erik loved watching Christine run around the theatre in search of him. Part him wanted to run to her, take her in his arms and hold her tight, thanking her and God that she’d returned at all. Thinking perhaps a bit more torture was in order, he stayed in the flies where he had been working and thinking. The girl who seemed to want him so bad had been gone for hours, and suddenly she expected him to appear.

  “Erik?” She looked around and sat down in the front seat of the auditorium.

  She was in the prime location for a performance. Maybe she needed a little show. He shimmied to what would be the center of the stage and with a little bit of his old flourish jumped down, landing right in the center of the stage. His only bit of luck was his mask stayed firmly in place

  “Erik!” Hands pressed to her chest, she leapt out of her seat.

  Well, damn if he always wasn’t one to get a standing ovation.

  “My little Cricket has conjured me. What can I do to be of service now?” Sarcasm dripped off his voice and he bowed.

  She panted to catch her breath. “Did you want to practice?”

  Now she wanted to practice. The audition was in less than forty-eight hours, and she gallivanted around doing god knew what and when she decided she needed him, she returned. “Absolutely we should practice.” He paced around the stage ending up at the piano. “I should have been more on the ball. Sorry, but I was working.”

  She joined him up on the stage. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”


  “Well, you did, so we may as well get on with it.” With a bit of drama, he played the intro to her song, a haunting ballad that had been popular about two years ago. He had been playing up her voice and infusing a little opera into the rock. The result was truly magnificent.

  He prepared for her to start singing, but she completely missed her cue and he turned to her. “Hello? Are you singing?”

  Her skin paled, making the blush on her cheeks stand out even more. “You taught me not to sing without warming up first.” She glanced off to one side.

  “Of course, forgive my faux pas. I was working when you showed up here wanting to practice.” His voice came out more of a snarl. He wasn’t even sure where his words were coming from. Before giving her a chance to respond, he played her first warm up scale.

  Her voice shook as she sang, and he ground his teeth together. Music shouldn’t be like this, music was joy, a respite, where they first connected, and he shouldn’t be using it to prove a point. In an abrupt move, he stopped playing and stood. “I’m not up for a lesson right now. You should have gotten here sooner.”

  “Oh, sure.” She took a moment and chewed her lower lip.

  He waited for her to walk away, facing her when she simply shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Is there anything else you require of me?”

  “When I got home, I looked for you.” She stared down at the floor.

  “While I know I’m not one for going out much, I didn’t know it was my job to sit on stage waiting for you to return.” He jutted his jaw out. “Please forgive me, next time I will stay at the door in breathless anticipation of your imminent return.”

  “I asked you to go with me.” She shook her head.

  “I think we both knew I was going to decline that invitation.” He wasn’t at her beck and call and she knew his limitations.

  She looked up at him, staying true to his rules and not mentioning his mask.

  “I’m not exactly the type you take on normal errands.” Yes, he pushed her. He wanted her to say it--realize any feelings she had for him were bogus, brought out of the fact they lived in this gilded cage where the prying eyes of the public didn’t matter. Once she figured it out, got her dream, she would be gone.